I'll Take The Rain
by Celeb Ryu
Summary: Chi-chi reflects on her and Goku's sham of a relationship. Done to the song "I'll take the rain" by R.E.M.


Okay so I have fics that need to be updated I know, but I lack the inspiration for them, and I was listening to this song and I was inspired, so there we go. I don't own DBZ or any related characters, otherwise there would be less fighting and more romance/angst. I don't own the beautiful song "I'll take the rain," R.E.M. does.  This is told through Chi-chi's POV.

I'll Take The Rain

_The rain came down_

_The rain came down_

_The rain came down on me._

I sighed softly as I stood out in the rain, not even caring as it soaked my clothes. They were all too dirty anyways, dirty from cleaning a house that's always empty. My children are all grown up and my husband is never around. In reality, I don't mind the rain all that much, in a way, it's always raining around here anyways.

_The wind blew strong_

_The summer song_

_Fades to memory_

I shiver slightly as the wind blows past me, causing the branches of some of the nearby trees to shake. I remember when it was warm all the time, or it seemed like it was. When my Goku was home it always felt like the sun was beating down on me warmly, but now it's just cold and lonesome. Warmth seems to be just a memory now.

_I knew you when_

_I loved you then_

_The summer's young and helpless._

I've known him for so long, since we were little kids. Even then I think I loved him, and it just grew stronger when we were reunited at the world's martial arts tournament. That day seemed like fate to me then. Like it was destiny for me to end up with him. How could I of ever been so naive, so delusional to think such a thing? There is no fate, there is no destiny, and we were just a couple of dumb kids. I should have sensed the potential disaster when he didn't even remember who I was.

_You laid me bare_

_You marked me there_

_The promises we made._

He was the one to take my maidenhood from me, the first, and perhaps the only one to see past the mask of anger I wear all the time. My hand reaches up to brush against the mark he left on my neck. I remember Bulma telling me that Vegeta had done the same thing to her and how it was a promise of their devotion to their mate. Then again, my Goku were raised on Earth so I doubt he knew what he was promising. Or maybe he did, who knows…

_I used to think_

_As birds take wing_

_They sing through life so why can't we?_

It was so long ago, we were so young, so innocent, so naïve. I used to think that if the animals could be carefree and happy, then so could we. After all, he always seemed to manage that perpetual happiness, but for some reason I couldn't, even though I desperately wanted to.

_You cling to this_

_You claim the best_

_If this is what you're offering_

He does not love me, not the way I love him. Well, he loves me but he isn't in love with me, though I'm not sure he knows the difference between the two. Everyone claims that I married off the best, that I got the sweetest, most loving man in the world. But it's not enough that he's caring, I just wish he would notice me. If all he can do is care for me like a friend or even a sister…

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain._

Then I would rather not have it at all. I love him more then anything but it hurts more to have him look right through me then him not being here at all. By now, I'm used to his absence anyways, it's not like it would be anything new or anything different. He's always dead or off training or somewhere…it seems as if he would rather be anywhere then here

_The nighttime creases_

_Summer schemes_

_And stretches out to stay._

Yet sometimes,  he would come home and would almost seem like when we were young again. We would function, almost like a real family. He would spend the day with Gohan while I cooked and then we would all eat together. It was during those times that I wish I could stop things and just live in that moment forever.

_The sun shines down_

_You came around_

_You love easy days_

I think my favorite moments are the week he spent with us before the Cell Games when he and Gohan were adjusting to being Super Saiyajin all the time. It was so nice to just spend time with him, not having to worry about him going off to train. He seemed to love those days the best, the ones where he could just be laid back, spending the day with his son, and the nights with me. I thought for a moment there he really was in love with me.

_But now the sun,_

_The winter's come._

_I wanted just to say_

_That if I hold_

_I'd hope you'd fold Open up inside, inside of me._

But then afterwards when they offered him life again he choose to stay dead then to come back to us, to me. Did he even realize I was pregnant or was my Goku even more of an airhead then I thought? If he had known, would he of stayed to help raise Goten? I never bothered to ask because I'm afraid of what the answer might be. He came back though, eventually, but things were even more awkward then before. It was like I didn't know him at all. I just wish he would confine in me like he does with his comrades, or even like he does with Bulma. I'm his wife yet it seems like he's more comfortable with her. Perhaps he fell in love with her long ago and we were all too dumb to figure it out before she ended up with Vegeta.

_I used to think_

_As birds take wing_

_They sing through life so why can't we?_

Of course maybe it has to do with the fact that she's known him longer then anyone. Back when we were all so young and careless. We didn't care about the fate of the world; we just were in it for the adventure of it all. But somewhere along the way things got complicated, we lost that carefree ease, well everyone except him. How is that the fate of the world more or less rests on his shoulder and yet he can have not a care in the world? It isn't fair…Then again, nothing ever is. Or at least it's never fair to me. 

_You cling to this_

_You claim the best_

_If this is what you're offering_

Yet that personality is what draws us all into him, we all wish we could cling onto that innocence that seems to be part of my Goku's very essence. But the problem is that you can't, being innocent isn't enough to survive the world. I need more than a man who blushes every time he sees me naked as if he shouldn't look even though we've been married for years. His way of being precautious to avoid my anger only makes things worse; sometimes I wish he had the guts to provoke me or something. But somehow my husband has come to fear me, yet I don't know how…but as this how things seem to stay…

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain._

I think I would prefer if he just stayed training with Uubuu forever, it's less painful that way. It still hurts like hell to be without him, but it's not as bad as the pain he causes me. Sometimes I wonder if he even notices, and then I wonder if he cares. I'd ask, but again, I think I'm better off not knowing the answer.

_This winter song_

_I'll sing along_

_I've searched its still refrain_

I'll survive this, in fact, I almost enjoy this, this solitude I've gained in his absence. Within it I've been able to evaluate our relationship in a calm matter. And now I recognize it for what it's always been. A ridiculous excuse of a sham. It was never real, even though I wanted it to be.

_I'll walk alone_

_I've given this, take wing_

_Celebrate the rain._

I can stay alone here now because the fact is, I've always been alone in a way. My husband was always dead and gone, and my sons have lives of their own. I could always talk to Bulma but in truth the two of us were never close, perhaps I'm secretly jealous of friendship with my Goku, I'm not sure anymore. But in the middle of this cold, wonderful, rain it seems more like liberation then anything else. I'm free from the ties of being the dutiful housewife. Perhaps now I can be my own person. I let out a laugh as I spin in the rain. I'm free! I'm free!

_I used to think_

_As birds take wing_

_They sing through life so why can't we?_

I'm free! I'm free! I don't need him to be my own person, he doesn't need to be the one to make me happy. I can create my own happiness, I think. Perhaps, if I just let go of my last attachments, it won't even hurt anymore.

_You cling to this_

_You claim the best_

_If this is what you're offering_

When he comes back, I'll tell him I want a divorce, assuming our marriage is still valid. I mean how many times has he died anyways? I know he'll try to tell me he needs me and that it can work, but I know better then that. I'm not the naïve, innocent girl I was when we married. And thanks to him, I'll never be her again.

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain_

_I'll take the rain._

So go train Goku! Train to your heart is content. I don't need you! I'm free! I begin to cry tears of joy as I stumble in the rain and fall into the mud, messing up my once beautiful face with the splatters. I don't care though; this is all I need. The soft cleansing rain, just you see Goku, the rain will cleanse all attachment from me, and then for once you'll know what it to be alone. And maybe it'll rain for you but the rain isn't that bad really. If loving you means hating my life, then I think I'll take the rain; it's much less painful. 

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Hmm…I need to write more Chi-chi angst in the future, it's fun ^_^ 

Remember, reviews are my friend…

So please review


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